μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος
οὐλομένην, ἣ μυρί᾽ Ἀχαιοῖς ἄλγε᾽ ἔθηκε,
πολλὰς δ᾽ ἰφθίμους ψυχὰς Ἄϊδι προΐαψεν
ἡρώων, αὐτοὺς δὲ ἑλώρια τεῦχε κύνεσσιν
οἰωνοῖσί τε πᾶσι, Διὸς δ᾽ ἐτελείετο βουλή,
ἐξ οὗ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα διαστήτην ἐρίσαντε
Ἀτρεΐδης τε ἄναξ ἀνδρῶν καὶ δῖος Ἀχιλλεύς.
τίς τ᾽ ἄρ σφωε θεῶν ἔριδι ξυνέηκε μάχεσθαι;
Λητοῦς καὶ Διὸς υἱός: ὃ γὰρ βασιλῆϊ χολωθεὶς
νοῦσον ἀνὰ στρατὸν ὄρσε κακήν, ὀλέκοντο δὲ λαοί,
οὕνεκα τὸν Χρύσην ἠτίμασεν ἀρητῆρα
Ἀτρεΐδης: ὃ γὰρ ἦλθε θοὰς ἐπὶ νῆας Ἀχαιῶν
λυσόμενός τε θύγατρα φέρων τ᾽ ἀπερείσι᾽ ἄποινα,
στέμματ᾽ ἔχων ἐν χερσὶν ἑκηβόλου Ἀπόλλωνος
χρυσέῳ ἀνὰ σκήπτρῳ, καὶ λίσσετο πάντας Ἀχαιούς,
Ἀτρεΐδα δὲ μάλιστα δύω, κοσμήτορε λαῶν:
Ἀτρεΐδαι τε καὶ ἄλλοι ἐϋκνήμιδες Ἀχαιοί,
ὑμῖν μὲν θεοὶ δοῖεν Ὀλύμπια δώματ᾽ ἔχοντες
ἐκπέρσαι Πριάμοιο πόλιν, εὖ δ᾽ οἴκαδ᾽ ἱκέσθαι:
παῖδα δ᾽ ἐμοὶ λύσαιτε φίλην, τὰ δ᾽ ἄποινα δέχεσθαι,
ἁζόμενοι Διὸς υἱὸν ἑκηβόλον Ἀπόλλωνα.
ἔνθ᾽ ἄλλοι μὲν πάντες ἐπευφήμησαν Ἀχαιοὶ
αἰδεῖσθαί θ᾽ ἱερῆα καὶ ἀγλαὰ δέχθαι ἄποινα:
ἀλλ᾽ οὐκ Ἀτρεΐδῃ Ἀγαμέμνονι ἥνδανε θυμῷ,
ἀλλὰ κακῶς ἀφίει, κρατερὸν δ᾽ ἐπὶ μῦθον ἔτελλε:
μή σε γέρον κοίλῃσιν ἐγὼ παρὰ νηυσὶ κιχείω
ἢ νῦν δηθύνοντ᾽ ἢ ὕστερον αὖτις ἰόντα,
μή νύ τοι οὐ χραίσμῃ σκῆπτρον καὶ στέμμα θεοῖο:
τὴν δ᾽ ἐγὼ οὐ λύσω: πρίν μιν καὶ γῆρας ἔπεισιν
ἡμετέρῳ ἐνὶ οἴκῳ ἐν Ἄργεϊ τηλόθι πάτρης
ἱστὸν ἐποιχομένην καὶ ἐμὸν λέχος ἀντιόωσαν:
ἀλλ᾽ ἴθι μή μ᾽ ἐρέθιζε σαώτερος ὥς κε νέηαι.
ὣς ἔφατ᾽, ἔδεισεν δ᾽ ὃ γέρων καὶ ἐπείθετο μύθῳ:
βῆ δ᾽ ἀκέων παρὰ θῖνα πολυφλοίσβοιο θαλάσσης:
πολλὰ δ᾽ ἔπειτ᾽ ἀπάνευθε κιὼν ἠρᾶθ᾽ ὃ γεραιὸς
Ἀπόλλωνι ἄνακτι, τὸν ἠΰκομος τέκε Λητώ:
κλῦθί μευ ἀργυρότοξ᾽, ὃς Χρύσην ἀμφιβέβηκας
Κίλλάν τε ζαθέην Τενέδοιό τε ἶφι ἀνάσσεις,
Σμινθεῦ εἴ ποτέ τοι χαρίεντ᾽ ἐπὶ νηὸν ἔρεψα,
ἢ εἰ δή ποτέ τοι κατὰ πίονα μηρί᾽ ἔκηα
ταύρων ἠδ᾽ αἰγῶν, τὸ δέ μοι κρήηνον ἐέλδωρ:
τίσειαν Δαναοὶ ἐμὰ δάκρυα σοῖσι βέλεσσιν.
ὣς ἔφατ᾽ εὐχόμενος, τοῦ δ᾽ ἔκλυε Φοῖβος Ἀπόλλων,
βῆ δὲ κατ᾽ Οὐλύμποιο καρήνων χωόμενος κῆρ,
τόξ᾽ ὤμοισιν ἔχων ἀμφηρεφέα τε φαρέτρην:
ἔκλαγξαν δ᾽ ἄρ᾽ ὀϊστοὶ ἐπ᾽ ὤμων χωομένοιο,
αὐτοῦ κινηθέντος: ὃ δ᾽ ἤϊε νυκτὶ ἐοικώς.
ἕζετ᾽ ἔπειτ᾽ ἀπάνευθε νεῶν, μετὰ δ᾽ ἰὸν ἕηκε:
δεινὴ δὲ κλαγγὴ γένετ᾽ ἀργυρέοιο βιοῖο:
οὐρῆας μὲν πρῶτον ἐπῴχετο καὶ κύνας ἀργούς,
αὐτὰρ ἔπειτ᾽ αὐτοῖσι βέλος ἐχεπευκὲς ἐφιεὶς
βάλλ᾽: αἰεὶ δὲ πυραὶ νεκύων καίοντο θαμειαί.
ἐννῆμαρ μὲν ἀνὰ στρατὸν ᾤχετο κῆλα θεοῖο,
τῇ δεκάτῃ δ᾽ ἀγορὴν δὲ καλέσσατο λαὸν Ἀχιλλεύς:
τῷ γὰρ ἐπὶ φρεσὶ θῆκε θεὰ λευκώλενος Ἥρη:
κήδετο γὰρ Δαναῶν, ὅτι ῥα θνήσκοντας ὁρᾶτο.
οἳ δ᾽ ἐπεὶ οὖν ἤγερθεν ὁμηγερέες τε γένοντο,
τοῖσι δ᾽ ἀνιστάμενος μετέφη πόδας ὠκὺς Ἀχιλλεύς:
Ἀτρεΐδη νῦν ἄμμε παλιμπλαγχθέντας ὀΐω
ἂψ ἀπονοστήσειν, εἴ κεν θάνατόν γε φύγοιμεν,
εἰ δὴ ὁμοῦ πόλεμός τε δαμᾷ καὶ λοιμὸς Ἀχαιούς:
ἀλλ᾽ ἄγε δή τινα μάντιν ἐρείομεν ἢ ἱερῆα
ἢ καὶ ὀνειροπόλον, καὶ γάρ τ᾽ ὄναρ ἐκ Διός ἐστιν,
ὅς κ᾽ εἴποι ὅ τι τόσσον ἐχώσατο Φοῖβος Ἀπόλλων,
εἴτ᾽ ἄρ᾽ ὅ γ᾽ εὐχωλῆς ἐπιμέμφεται ἠδ᾽ ἑκατόμβης,
αἴ κέν πως ἀρνῶν κνίσης αἰγῶν τε τελείων
βούλεται ἀντιάσας ἡμῖν ἀπὸ λοιγὸν ἀμῦναι.
ἤτοι ὅ γ᾽ ὣς εἰπὼν κατ᾽ ἄρ᾽ ἕζετο: τοῖσι δ᾽ ἀνέστη
Κάλχας Θεστορίδης οἰωνοπόλων ὄχ᾽ ἄριστος,
ὃς ᾔδη τά τ᾽ ἐόντα τά τ᾽ ἐσσόμενα πρό τ᾽ ἐόντα,
καὶ νήεσς᾽ ἡγήσατ᾽ Ἀχαιῶν Ἴλιον εἴσω
ἣν διὰ μαντοσύνην, τήν οἱ πόρε Φοῖβος Ἀπόλλων:
ὅ σφιν ἐὺ φρονέων ἀγορήσατο καὶ μετέειπεν:
ὦ Ἀχιλεῦ κέλεαί με Διῒ φίλε μυθήσασθαι
μῆνιν Ἀπόλλωνος ἑκατηβελέταο ἄνακτος:
τοὶ γὰρ ἐγὼν ἐρέω: σὺ δὲ σύνθεο καί μοι ὄμοσσον
ἦ μέν μοι πρόφρων ἔπεσιν καὶ χερσὶν ἀρήξειν:
ἦ γὰρ ὀΐομαι ἄνδρα χολωσέμεν, ὃς μέγα πάντων
Ἀργείων κρατέει καί οἱ πείθονται Ἀχαιοί:
κρείσσων γὰρ βασιλεὺς ὅτε χώσεται ἀνδρὶ χέρηϊ:
εἴ περ γάρ τε χόλον γε καὶ αὐτῆμαρ καταπέψῃ,
ἀλλά τε καὶ μετόπισθεν ἔχει κότον, ὄφρα τελέσσῃ,
ἐν στήθεσσιν ἑοῖσι: σὺ δὲ φράσαι εἴ με σαώσεις.
τὸν δ᾽ ἀπαμειβόμενος προσέφη πόδας ὠκὺς Ἀχιλλεύς:
θαρσήσας μάλα εἰπὲ θεοπρόπιον ὅ τι οἶσθα:
οὐ μὰ γὰρ Ἀπόλλωνα Διῒ φίλον, ᾧ τε σὺ Κάλχαν
εὐχόμενος Δαναοῖσι θεοπροπίας ἀναφαίνεις,
οὔ τις ἐμεῦ ζῶντος καὶ ἐπὶ χθονὶ δερκομένοιο
σοὶ κοίλῃς παρὰ νηυσί βαρείας χεῖρας ἐποίσει
συμπάντων Δαναῶν, οὐδ᾽ ἢν Ἀγαμέμνονα εἴπῃς,
ὃς νῦν πολλὸν ἄριστος Ἀχαιῶν εὔχεται εἶναι.
καὶ τότε δὴ θάρσησε καὶ ηὔδα μάντις ἀμύμων:
οὔ τ᾽ ἄρ ὅ γ᾽ εὐχωλῆς ἐπιμέμφεται οὐδ᾽ ἑκατόμβης,
ἀλλ᾽ ἕνεκ᾽ ἀρητῆρος ὃν ἠτίμης᾽ Ἀγαμέμνων,
οὐδ᾽ ἀπέλυσε θύγατρα καὶ οὐκ ἀπεδέξατ᾽ ἄποινα,
τοὔνεκ᾽ ἄρ᾽ ἄλγε᾽ ἔδωκεν ἑκηβόλος ἠδ᾽ ἔτι δώσει:
οὐδ᾽ ὅ γε πρὶν Δαναοῖσιν ἀεικέα λοιγὸν ἀπώσει
πρίν γ᾽ ἀπὸ πατρὶ φίλῳ δόμεναι ἑλικώπιδα κούρην
ἀπριάτην ἀνάποινον, ἄγειν θ᾽ ἱερὴν ἑκατόμβην
ἐς Χρύσην: τότε κέν μιν ἱλασσάμενοι πεπίθοιμεν.
ἤτοι ὅ γ᾽ ὣς εἰπὼν κατ᾽ ἄρ᾽ ἕζετο: τοῖσι δ᾽ ἀνέστη
ἥρως Ἀτρεΐδης εὐρὺ κρείων Ἀγαμέμνων
ἀχνύμενος: μένεος δὲ μέγα φρένες ἀμφιμέλαιναι
πίμπλαντ᾽, ὄσσε δέ οἱ πυρὶ λαμπετόωντι ἐΐκτην:
Κάλχαντα πρώτιστα κάκ᾽ ὀσσόμενος προσέειπε:
μάντι κακῶν οὐ πώ ποτέ μοι τὸ κρήγυον εἶπας:
αἰεί τοι τὰ κάκ᾽ ἐστὶ φίλα φρεσὶ μαντεύεσθαι,
ἐσθλὸν δ᾽ οὔτέ τί πω εἶπας ἔπος οὔτ᾽ ἐτέλεσσας:
καὶ νῦν ἐν Δαναοῖσι θεοπροπέων ἀγορεύεις
ὡς δὴ τοῦδ᾽ ἕνεκά σφιν ἑκηβόλος ἄλγεα τεύχει,
οὕνεκ᾽ ἐγὼ κούρης Χρυσηΐδος ἀγλά᾽ ἄποινα
οὐκ ἔθελον δέξασθαι, ἐπεὶ πολὺ βούλομαι αὐτὴν
οἴκοι ἔχειν: καὶ γάρ ῥα Κλυταιμνήστρης προβέβουλα
κουριδίης ἀλόχου, ἐπεὶ οὔ ἑθέν ἐστι χερείων,
οὐ δέμας οὐδὲ φυήν, οὔτ᾽ ἂρ φρένας οὔτέ τι ἔργα.
ἀλλὰ καὶ ὧς ἐθέλω δόμεναι πάλιν εἰ τό γ᾽ ἄμεινον:
βούλομ᾽ ἐγὼ λαὸν σῶν ἔμμεναι ἢ ἀπολέσθαι:
αὐτὰρ ἐμοὶ γέρας αὐτίχ᾽ ἑτοιμάσατ᾽ ὄφρα μὴ οἶος
Ἀργείων ἀγέραστος ἔω, ἐπεὶ οὐδὲ ἔοικε:
λεύσσετε γὰρ τό γε πάντες ὅ μοι γέρας ἔρχεται ἄλλῃ.

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Muse, rhyme of the beef of the son of Peleus
that piled mad grief all up on the Achaeans
and spurred to Perdition the souls of real gangstas,
yo, and for bitches an' crows they made banquets.
The mighty god Zeus's will was accomplished
when, fighting, those two was split up in contest:
Atrides, lord of men, and Achilles with the brilliance.
Which of the gods willed these two to militance?
The seed of Zeus and Leta, who was beefin' at the leader,
brought disease up in this piece; and the legions were deceasin',
'cuz the mighty king Atrides dissed a high priest, name o' Chryses,
for he beat feet to the fleet fleet of the Greek peeps with a pricey
ransom, countless in its bounty, for his daughter, who got captured,
with the chaplet on the pimp cane of Apollo (who will cap you
from a distance). and his mission: to petition the Achaeans,
'specially the two Atreides, the chiefs of Grecian defense:
"Lord Atrides, and Achaeans with greaves that are pimpest,
may the highest of the deities, who live on Mount Olympus,
let you pillage Priam's village, and return ya to your hood;
just release my dear Chryseis—an' you'll earn cash for my blood;
and you'll respect Apollo, packin' heat, the son of God."
Then all Achaeans holla'd back, that he was really good,
to acknowledge this apologist and take the handsome ransom
but his prayer found no favor when Atrides checked the scansion
he ejected him, and wrecked him with invective, bomb as missiles:
"Grandfather, best not follow me amongst these hollow vessels,
best not see you tarry now nor detect you comin' back now
lest the pimp cane of Apollo not protect you from the smackdown!
I never shall release her; old age comin' down upon her
in our home, in Greece, far from the country of her father,
for I doom her to the loom-work and to humor my dark passions
Now get, lest I forget my head, and you not find yours fastened."
Thus he stated and the aged man, afraid, obeyed the motion
He, denied, went silently beside the strident waves of ocean,
there to sing a righteous song to beat the sea's uproar; he hollered
to the King of light and song whom sleek-haired Leta bore, Apollo
"Hark, silver archer, who guards Chryse, Killa,
godly Tenedos, no end to those darn mice he killin',
if ever, praisin' you, I raised the roof all up on the house
or this high priest wrapped a thigh-piece in holocaust of cows
and mountain goats, then count my vote, fulfillin' my desire
for my grievin' days, let Grecians pay: you'll kill them with gunfire."
His entreaty reached the ear of the far-shot Apollo,
who plummeted from summits, his heart hot with choler,
with a shottie on his body and a scope open at both ends,
and his missiles they would whistle when he focused his emotions
through the weapon; he stepped in, fell like the night
took a seat far from the fleet, and his pellets took flight
with each round, a sunburst and a sound of thunder
busted caps up in their asses, and their hounds put under
but soon mortal fire turned to soldiers of the Grecians
and the funeral pyres burned, smoldered without ceasin'
For nine days, the deity, he stoked the conflagration
the tenth day, Peleides convoked a congregation
from Hera, lackin' melanin' the thought had descended
she dared to backed the Hellenics and sought to defend 'em
so then all the men who were sent for congested
and Achilles who was illest of sprinters, suggested,
"Atrides, our attack's been driven back. It would be wise to peace,
returnin' on a journey home. and this way no one dies at least,
or else our guys are buyin' it from violence and virulence
but come on, let us summon some diviner, whether hierophant
or someone who has the oneiropolitan persuasion
he'll perceive for us the reason fair Apollo's gun is blazin'
have our prayers found disfavor? did we vex 'im with a hecatomb?
he may desire a savor that's delectable, directed to 'im
Let's get sheep and goats and smoke a fat one for Apollo."
Then he sat down, having spoken. That one's words were followed
by Calchas Thestorides, foremost authority
who foresees the future, the now, and before in dreams
who charted, navigatin' the Greeks into Illium
with arts of divination which Phoebus had given him
he chimed in with a rhyme which he meant with good intentions
"Achilles, Διι φιλε, it's your will for me to venture
what's botherin' the sovereign of snipers, why he's hexed ya
I'll tell you: listen well, though, and promise my protection
mentally, corporally, defend me, uncollapsin'
for I sense one G be sore at least impendin', one who's captain
of the Grecians; all Achaeans to this mean one pay obeisance,
his puissance ain't believable to behold when the beef is on.
At first dolorovorous, his soreness he'll conceal away
he'll nurse that curse and hoard it; 'til like Horace it sees the day
it's burnin' in his sternum, it keeps churnin' with his heartbeat;
but hell, I might as well tell, if you're certain you'll my guard be."
Responding, Achilles the swift got to spittin'
"No despondence, get on this and gift us your vision
you're the divine's most favored, 's what I'm sayin';
your oracles shine, when you're prayin' for Danaans;
while I live beneath the daylight, any cracka by the side
of these ships won't seek to lay a heavy smackdown on yo' hide,
ain't no one, even tho' Agamemnon is the name,
high-postin' he the most mackest gentleman in the game."
The soothsayer felt braver and he started to direct this to 'em:
"Prayers met with favor; you ain't vexed 'im with no hecatomb.
he's steppin' 'cause the priest wern't respected by the king:
didn't let the shawty free or collect up on the bling
ergo the brother can't stop, won't stop plaguin';
therefo' another man drops, 'til the day when
the handsome-eyed honey is returned to her father
with no ransom cash money, and you burn up an offer-
ing on Chryse. Convince him with such an appeasement."
The soothsayer finished his rhyme and was seated.
Up jumped the chief, Agamemnon Atrides
pumped up with grief, black with venom inside; he
screamed, eyes agleam, as if set with a fire
of malice, to Calchas, a threat hella dire:
"You prophet of Apocalypse, ya droppins ain't cooperative
the sheeit you foreseein' may be pleasin' to your cognitive,
but what's really good? you ain't never do or say it
now you playin' like Isaiah, cuz you spray to the Danäans
that Apollo with the hollow-tip be causin' sorrow 'cause o' this:
the bling that they was bringin' for Chryseis didn't alter shit—
I sent them bitches packin', want my baby where I kept her
she better for the mackin' than my lady Clytemnestra
both babies got back, get stack, and got soul
but I'll give her back for the good of the whole
'cuz I need that my peoples be ill, but not sick
but every thug needs a shorty, so score me some chick
lest I go without the booty, alone of Achaeans
check check it out, y'all, my homegirl is peacin'"